The English language has been destroyed. That’s what language purists would want us to believe, anyway. And for a while, I was with them.

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one left in my generation who can spell without the aid of Microsoft Word’s spell-checker. (Not here, of course. At the Erie Times-News, I am surrounded by bastions of good spelling and grammar, and I am thankful for it.)

We are entering into a new era of language, in which whatever the computer says, goes.

Grammarians blame the Internet and its accompanying demons, instant messaging and online chat for the decline of verbal skills in today’s teens and 20-somethings. There’s also the reliance on computerized spell-checkers — great tools for correcting typographical errors, not spelling mistakes. When you don’t know how a word should be spelled, it’s easy to accept the computer’s suggestion for a correct — yet completely different — word. When kids as young as 9 have cell phones and text-message plans, it’s not surprising that they “learn” that “you” is spelled “u” and “for” is written “4.” And after a few generations, who will care?

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I loathe tests. There’s something about the classroom that turns menacing on exam day, something I’ve noticed since my days in Stride Rite sneakers and stirrup pants. What I fear isn’t struggling for the answers, it’s finding them too quickly.

Two things can happen after you finish a test first, if you, like me, belong to the ranks of the chronically under-confident. You can worry:
A) If everyone else is still working, you must have done something wrong, or
B) If you finish first, you will forever be branded a teacher’s pet.
Neither choice is appetizing. I clutch my test in hand, scanning my peers to see if anyone is almost done. I look out the window, tapping my feet.

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